who have been laid off or furloughed. Stress and anxiety are at all time highs.
I’ve gotten emails and calls from my children’s teachers; they miss their students – and the kids are a bit behind on their work. If this was a few years ago, I would have been incredibly anxious and would have nagged the kids until they were feeling the same way I was. It would have spilled over into work and colored every dealing there with the same stress, amplifying and compounding the negative energy. In their sophomore year, I was banned from logging in and monitoring their grades – by them and their guidance counselor. I did not realize how overbearing I was until I was cut off, cold-turkey. I did not realize that by constantly monitoring their assignments, I was taking away their agency and assuming some of their responsibility. I did not realize how much self-torture I was subjecting myself to. And that was well before we had a pandemic forcing us all to reckon with schoolwork without the divine intervention of educators.
I was forced to give my children the gift of responsibility for their own work, and in the process received grace.
I’d suggest to all the frazzled, exhausted and stressed-out parents out there to do their best to provide structure and direction and then step out of the way. The kids will get done what is necessary and the teachers will let you know if they don’t. It’s not your grades, after all; those belong to the child. Let them take responsibility for their work; good, bad or mediocre. In return, you will receive peace and grace.
If you’re experiencing job insecurity or job loss, and think you have to spend every waking moment on the job hunt, give yourself a break. Take time every day to exercise, get outside, and read or listen to podcasts by thought leaders on subjects that are actually interesting to you. Is there someone you admire that regularly does live broadcasts on LinkedIn, Facebook or YouTube? Schedule the time to listen to get grounded and get into a better frame of mind. I’ve been listening to Whitney Johnson on LinkedIn – her “Calm Amidst the Chaos” which is now twice a week – it’s helping me to understand the “S curve of disruption” and keep me focused on what I am able to control. Yes, a job search is a full-time job and does require thought, planning and work, but you are not a robot.
You deserve to give yourself some grace.
These are unprecedented times, and we are all experiencing disruption and collective anxiety. You really don’t have to do anything more than make it through the day, despite what you may think.
Give yourself some grace.