I haven’t written in quite a while. More than a week, I think. It’s difficult to know what to write at this moment, there’s so much to say but I have no right to say it. Hands have been wrung, tears have flowed, fists raised in despair, heads hung in shame. Mothers fear for their children. Sons, fathers, brothers fear for their lives. As the world goes mad, turns upside-down, goes off the rails, we continue to hope for lasting change.
Was this monumental terror (pick one or pick all: 45, Barr, McConnell, Graham, COVID-19, police brutality, overt fascism, systemic racism. record unemployment, the cesspool that is our nation’s capital) unleashed in order to push us out of complacency so we could, finally, change the construct? Or is it going to hasten our demise? Will the social divide become a chasm so wide we cannot bridge it? Will we lose our ability to rebound from this crisis? Will we ever be able to repair the injustices that our constant pursuit of material things, and all they stand for has wrought?
It is too much for many to bear.
History shows that when society careens out of control, people choose authoritarianism. People knowingly choose that which spells their oppression, out of a desire for stability and sameness. They perceive it as better than what they are living with. (Case in point – if W looks good to you now, you know we are in deep shit.)
I pray that this time around, we choose kindness. That we choose empathy. That we choose a construct by which we lift one another, offer safety nets, remove barriers.
This moment was a long time in the making – decades, in fact. It is likely to be with us more than just a few days, a few weeks, a few months. I have faith in humanity and our collective goodness. I have hope. And I believe that most people are yearning for humanity, decency and empathy. I reject the idea that hate and fear will dictate our future. I reject the notion that the scumbags that are wielding their authority now are our future: no, I believe these pretenders will finally be unmasked for the swamp-dwellers that they are and rejected summarily.
This takes a tremendous leap of faith – the faith that others want to achieve equality, equity and all that those ideals entail. And I am not naive – I know just to want it is the easy part. To achieve it is hard, fraught with errors and missteps. Painful, even.
I wonder what we look like now to people who risked everything to come here, where they believed they would have a better life.
I am deeply saddened, ashamed and simultaneously enraged. I don’t know what to say to my friends and colleagues who are suffering now and suffer injustice every day of their lives. Injustices I am blind and oblivious to, by virtue of my privilege. Except I am here to listen, I am here to support, I am here to bear witness. Mostly, I am here if you need me and I will do my best.