We’re past election day, and the collective sigh of relief is palpable (except in Mississippi, of course.) Daylight saving time has ended, bringing sunsets at 4:30 pm. Conversely, the sun rises at 6:30 am, which makes me much happier than the early sunsets make me sad.
I’m finally able to take my morning walks without hindrance or pain, which is the result of four months of healing.
What I am not able to do, this time around, is write daily about what is happening in the world. It all feels like a cosmic taunt. Just when we think that things might improve, another war begins. Just when we think we can breathe again, a massive geopolitical event occurs with thousands of innocents as the casualties. And every damn day, the Orange Menace and his minions are in the news. WHY? I am sickened by all of it. It is gross, disgusting, disheartening, fraught with ambiguity and raw emotion. Who does this sick shit? Who allows this to happen in our world? And how can we let sketchy people get away with furthering their own aims at the cost of innocent people? We finally have some stability and the ridiculous evangelical clown car that is our House of Representatives are blowing everything up – including one another – it’s just exhausting.
It’s anxiety time.
It’s already the week before Thanksgiving, which means Christmas is not far away, either. I am feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden. I need to figure out how, while living two separate lives, I can go on vacation, clean up my house and grounds, put up the decorations, clear out the living room of all the flotsam and jetsam, and host my (now) annual tree trimming and eggnog evening. And that is before I have thought about gifts for my loved ones and Christmas dinner itself.
What day is it again? Do I have time to go grocery shopping? Can I get the leaves off the porch roof? Do my outdoor icicle lights work? Can somebody clone me, please?
Deep breaths.
I realize that I have choices to make. There is good reason for the split-lives thing. But the impending holidays make a complicated arrangement more so. There are only so many hours in the day that can be devoted to the activities I used to reserve for Saturday mornings. I will need to be creative. There is limited daylight and it is getting cold. Weather is now unpredictable – will it rain on Saturday morning? Will it be freezing? Should I wait until after I get home from vacation to worry about any of this?
I’m asking rhetorical questions here, of course. I’ll figure it all out. I am making room for the new as I navigate my own expectations for upholding traditions. I’m working through my own challenges with time management and commitments. It will work out, it usually does.
