In listening to Whitney Johnson’s “Calm Amidst Chaos” LinkedIn live event today, she mentioned something that captured my attention: that in the midst of what is most likely the most difficult time in our lives, we’re almost reluctant to acknowledge the good things and what is working. That somehow to do so would be to diminish people’s suffering. That to do so would somehow make people forget how serious, frightening and tragic this pandemic actually is. Almost like survivor’s remorse. But when things are hard, like they are now, people need something positive to look to for comfort and hope. So it is important that we balance all the bad and broken with what is good and working.
I also saw a post from a friend who was taking the opposite tack: she needed to know that she was not the only one who feels like everything sucks and her life isn’t going like everyone else’s seems to be. (I paraphrase, of course) Thankfully, most of us are having good days along with our bad days; we are all sequestered and coming up on 40 days of this. This can only mean that we have days when we just cannot put on real pants (me, yesterday) and days when we eat too frequently, don’t make it into the shower, drink too much or too frequently, snap at the kids, get annoyed with the other adults in the house.
There’s a balance to be achieved in this. I know that most people are posting positive, uplifting things on social media to encourage one another and perhaps, even themselves. Not necessarily because that is actually how things really are, but because they need to hold onto the good, positive things while they face the fear of illness and dying; the unemployment and economic bad news; the absolute shit show that is our governmental response.
We do need to acknowledge the things that ARE working: people’s banding together in support of their neighbors, the governors of our states banding together to ensure public safety, businesses doing all they can to keep their employees working, people doing their best to keep their neighbors safe.
It becomes more important to acknowledge the good and the working when the entire world has gone sideways. Don’t feel guilty – the terrible is still happening – we need the positive to keep going.