I begin thinking about the day, the week, and it is all innocuous enough. My kids are safe and healthy, albeit bored out of their gourds. My husband has to go to a bank branch that sees no one every day. He is fine. I have been working from home since the end of February, so my world is very small; though I recently began a new job this past week. That is weird; I have not met a single person I now work with, in the flesh. But I am blessed – these are good people doing good things, and they are happy I am with them. I am happy I am with them. Our friends and family are essentially untouched by the pandemic other than not being able to work, travel or socialize. We are blessed. All is good.
But then. I think about the fascist dolts who are “running” the country: 45, Pence, McConnell and Miller, in particular; these people and their agenda make my blood boil.
I never considered myself to be particularly “political,” nor do I think I am particularly activist. It’s amazing what happens when a pandemic upends society and shakes the coating from the realities of life. My teenage daughter is the activist in the family, not me. But, c’mon, people. Really. The last three years have been nothing but a shit-show of fascism, racism and plain old stupidity gone normal. Here’s the thing: ask any person of color and they will tell you. Racism and privilege are alive and kicking in America, and they ALWAYS have been. White people cannot get over themselves to allow anyone other than them to just live. Our current administration is made completely of people who are hell-bent on making the POC disappear. Remember the children in cages? Guess what, they are still there and I will put money down that they are dying of COVID-19. Immigration bans? Using the pandemic as a means to get Miller’s psycho fantasy the law. His motives are totally based on racism. He is a dyed-in-the-wool racist. Pence is expecting Armageddon and the Second Coming of Christ – the End of Days – and he’s doing everything in his power to ensure that we adhere to doctrine. McConnell is, as is 45, interested in the absolute bank they are making as a result of the pull-back of legislation that curbs corporate greed and misconduct. These guys are all about the Benjamins. Nothing else. Disgusting mob-tainted creeps. Added bonus if they can get regular people to hate one another. And the pandemic? Bonus round! Removes the poor and elderly from the federal payroll. May they all be visited by the virus. Pox be on them all!
Friends, I apologize. I never meant to be the person who railed against the regime. In fact, I never thought I was the kind of person who would type out all of these feelings and then (gasp) publish them. I never thought I would be one of so many, who not knowing what else to do, began writing of the horrors of being safe in a country that was literally falling apart in plain sight. 77,000+ dead, when a coordinated federal response COULD HAVE avoided this.
And all of the horrible, terrible acts to undo the republic that has made the United States a leader in the world; the undoing of the tenets that anyone who believed in the imperfect beauty of a democratic society deepens the sadness and humility I feel every time I see a news story about the unraveling of our protective programs or the brutal killing of a person of color because they are LIVING THEIR LIFE. I am just one privileged white woman in a sea of humanity, but I am sad and embarrassed to bear witness to the criminal hijacking of my country.
I am enraged. And I vote.